Woodworking Jokes

The Impossible

A woodworker had lived well all his life and one day, as he was driving home from the shop, the clouds parted and God appeared.

“As a reward for a life lived properly,” the Almighty said, “I would like to give you anything you wish.”

“I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii,” the carpenter said, “but I’m terrified of flying. Can you build me a highway from here to there?”

“Well,” said the woodworker, “you could help me remember how to set up my dovetail jig, so that I can come back to it in six months and still be able to use it.”

Silence. Then…

“Would that be two or four lanes?”

Joke Source

Hear, Hear!

“I just got new hearing aids,” Fred boasted. “they’re absolutely fabulous. I can hear the plane shaving the wood.”

“That’s wonderful,” said Bill. “What brand are they?”

“About four o’clock.”

Joke Source

STOP Making Out-Dated Table Saw Sleds, Do This Instead