Woodworking Jokes

Who Nose?

A woman walked into the plastic surgeon’s office and asked about the price of a nose job.

“Oh,” said the doc, “they usually run about $6,000.”

“Oh dear,” she said. “What can we do to make it cheaper?”

“Well, we can eliminate the anesthetic. That’ll reduce it to $4,000, but it’ll hurt a lot.”

“Hmmmm … anything else?”

“The post-operative pain killers are about $500.”

Frustrated, the doc said: “Well, I suppose I could use a spoon instead of surgical instruments.”

“… okay. And that would make it?”

“How about $100?”

“Fine,” she said. “My husband had a board kick back on the table saw yesterday. I’ll have him here at 3.”

Joke Source

Bad Language

When George went to see the doctor about his lack drive and how much he had slowed down over the years, a long series of tests revealed nothing. Finally, he asked the doc to give it to him in plain English.

“Well, George,” the doc said. “The honest truth is that there is nothing wrong with you. In plain English, you’re just as lazy as sin.”

George mulled that over a minute.

“So, Doc,” he said. “I have to tell the wife something, and it’s going to have to sound medical. Any chance you can translate ‘lazy as sin’ into plain Latin for me?

Joke Source

STOP Making Out-Dated Table Saw Sleds, Do This Instead